TANTRUMS!!!!!!!

I am sitting here eating a well deserved bowl of ice cream, feeling very annoyed with a bunch of strangers who happen to shop at Wal-Mart. (Is it just me, or do the meaniest people in the world shop there?)

My oldest, Lucy (3), for the most part is a well mannered, sweet little girl! She is usually very happy. But when she wants to be, she is also VERY stubborn. I love her dearly, but sometimes (especially lately) I feel like everything has been a battle, even if it's something she actually wants to do!!!!!

Today has been one of those days. She has had 4 meltdowns today and it's only 3:30!!!....Sigh.

I think I do pretty well during her tantrums. I never let her see that it upsets me. If we are at home I give her a warning and if the behavior continues then I put her in the "naughty chair." When she stops, I get down to her level and explain why she was put there and have her apologize to me and anyone else it affected. If she throws things they go in "time out" too (which is located on the top shelf of the closet) for a full 24 hours.
If we are in public I take her to a place where no one is ans wait it out either holding her or I have her sit in a chair/bench/cart. And then do the same thing. Tell her why and have her say "Sorry".

(Eric and I decided that we will NEVER spank our kids. I'm not judging anyone who does, after all my mom spanked me. However, we both feel that it is too easy to lose control and spank out of anger. We feel that spanking may stop the behavior temporarily but in the long run is ineffective)

Sooooo.....
Today, in Wal-Mart Lucy had a HUGE meltdown. She wanted to walk and I told her that she needed to get in the cart. I gave her a choice between the basket or the seat, but she wouldn't have it! It was "Walk" or "Whine"!!!! So I told her, "I'm sorry that it makes you angry, but now is a time when mommy needs you to sit in the cart" and I picked her up and put her in! We walked for about 30 seconds as she took it all in and then BOOOOM!!!!! She started kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. Grabbing my shirt, hair, face, anything that she was in arms reach of!!! Well, all you moms of toddlers knows how that goes. I quickly picked up my pace making sure that I didn't make eye contact with anyone, as she wailed past the aisles. As I passed I heard gasps like " Sheesh", "Wow" and "Oh my Gosh!!!!" But I just focused on not turning red, and not reacting while I searched for a less populated area. As I was speed-walking, I heard one lady actually say, "Would someone shut that BRAT up?!!!" I did make eye contact with that women and glarred at her for a moment. But I wanted so badly say something like "What would you suggest?? A sock???" It hurt me so much that anyone would say something like that about my precious little girl. She's only 3 for heavens sake!!! Another old lady kept saying "Hey You, Hey You, BE QUIET!!!" My friend Joanna, who was with me, actually turned around and shushed her. Then the lady mumbled something that I didn't hear, but after a moment I heard Joanna say "Mind your own business!!!" I was soo mortified and thankful at the same time that my friend would stand up for me in that way. (Thanks Jo! It really did help me feel better!) Anyway, I finally found a place that had no one around and waited it out. Breathing heavily, but doing my very best to look calm. The whole ordeal was about 5 mins. But it was the longest 5 minites that I've felt in a long time. During those 5 min I had to keep my mind completely blank, which was sooo hard, because I knew if I thought about the things those people said I would start to cry. It was soo difficult to fight back the tears. It was soo hard to keep Lucy from seeing how much it affected me! Sometimes being a mom is soo hard!!!! It would have been so easy for me to lose my temper and chew out all those people who truly deserved it. It would have been so easy for me to give in and let Lucy walk after I had told her "No." All the screaming and kicking, staring, and rude comments would have stopped had I just givin Lucy what she wanted. But no, deep down I knew that it wasn't right. So I kept walking letting those painful comments pierce me like arrows. One by one for the sake of raising my daughter correctly!

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. It totally brought me back to the days when Lucy had colic. There was nothing I could do but endure through it, as insensitive people glarred at me and made comments. There was hardly a shopping trip that went by that I didn't come home with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Any comments or suggestions??? I could definitly use a helping hand or some encoruagement right now.