This has been on my mind lately.
I have had 2 C-sections. I have never delivered vaginally. During my labor with Lucy, we all discovered, too late, that she was breech and I was rushed in for an emergency C-section. It was a horrible experience, but I'll leave that story for another day. The thing that bothered me most is that I was literally the last person to hold her. I never got that first, private, mommy-baby moment. With Evey, I opted for a C-section because her delivery was almost exactly a year after my previous C-section and I felt that the risks were too great. That C-section was overall a good experience but it still lacked that closeness that I long for directly after delivery. I got to see her all of 30 seconds before they took her away with dad, sewed me back up and wheeled me to a recovery room for over an hour.
Now, nearly 3 years after having Evey, I feel very torn on the subject. Having never delivered vaginally, I feel as if I have really missed out on something. I know that it is irrational, but a part of me feels as if I have failed in some way. I crave that moment where they place the baby on your chest right after delivery, and it breaks my heart to know that I may never get to experience that. The risks are lower than they were with Evey, but I know that if I opt to deliver vaginally, there are risks nonetheless. My OB said that a vaginal birth after 2 C-sections is not an option. But I know other OB's will let me try with close monitoring. A huge part of me wants to do it. From what I have read, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to deliver vaginally. All the odds are in my favor considering my previous C-sections were not due to any serious conditions on mine or the baby's part. Even if it turns out that I have to go in for a C-section anyway, at least I will have tried, right?
I wish I knew exactly what the outcome would be. It has been on my mind for awhile. I want this baby to be happy and healthy. I want to experience at least once that precious moment.
I know that it's selfish. Chances are that I'll opt for a C-section again despite these feelings. But I would love to get your opinions on the subject. ( I imagine that they will all be very different depending on how you delivered)
It's a very difficult decision for me. One that I am taking into prayerful consideration.
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Blessed, honored, traumatized pioneers
2 years ago
12 comments:
This has been on my mind since day one of having Evan. I had a c-section because the doctor was worried about the size of Evan's head to my pelvis. I was still trying to go for vaginal but in the end, Evan's heart rate wasn't stable because of the Pitocin (sp?). I always think about the what if's. "What if I kept going vaginally after they turned the Pitocin off". With this time around I will try vaginally but if it doesn't happen then I at least tried. I also feel like I missed out on all of those first and I also feel like I failed. C-section's are not only tough with recovery but there also tough emotionally. I'm still not 100% emotionally from it and it's been 18 months. I can go on and on about this subject.
Sorry if I didn't answer your question(s).
Read the book "Silent Knife" by Nancy Wainer Cohen and Lois J. Estner. I've never actually read it myself, but it has been highly recommended to anyone considering a vaginal birth after c-section. I've read a lot about the emotional connection immediately after birth. It's healthy for both mother and baby to be held immediately after birth. I will get off my soap box now and just let you read the book. :)
What a tough decision. I have no advice to offer, but know since you are praying about it, you will get the answer and know what is right for you to do! My mom had 3 cesareans, tried for a VBAC with #2 which after a while they just didn't feel right about. You'll figure out what is right too. Good luck!
A lot of times OB's won't even approach the subject because it's more of a malpractice/legalise issue than a health issue. I can't offer any personal advice, but I've known a lot of women who did have a VBAC and everything was just fine. If it's bugging you, then I would definitely get at least a second opinion. But like everyone else has said, it's ultimately up to how your prayers are answered and how you're feeling about it the closer you get. There is definitely an emotional connection with a vaginal delivery, but it's not ncessarily an amazing experience. I can understand about not being able to hold your little one first; that would bug me too. I guess the best thing to think about would be baby and mommy's health.
I thought you absolutely cannot deliver vaginally after getting a C-section, I remember my doctor saying something about a risk of the uterus rupturing. I might be wrong. I have been thinking about it myself because my first delivery was so difficult and I already have a nasty scar from my surgery, so a C-section sounds like the easier route. That's awful huh? I would say do what you think is the safest for you and the baby. Your health is just as important if not more now that you will be the mother of 3. I am excited for you Katie!
That is a tough decision! I can see how it would bother you and my only advice would be to go with what feels right for you and your baby. I have only ever delivered vaginally, so I can't offer any personal experiences, but I think if I had only ever had C-sections I would continue to do so. Holding them on your tummy right after birth is very cool, but probably not worth the risk. But whatever you decide, good luck and I wish you the best!!!
I have only delivered vaginally, so I may not have the best advice but, research the pros & cons completely with your doctor and on your own. My sister had a c-section on her first and tried vaginally for her second. She ended up with a c-section again but, at least her doctor let her try! I'd try if they let you, it's a whole different experience.
Having watched my little sister have 2 c-sections and my other sister have three vaginals-I'd definitely opt for the vaginal. That said-if it's not an option-stick with your dr.'s advice-they've seen it all and know best.
Hi, I don't know you, and I hope you don't think I'm too creepy but I found your blog through a friend's and the title of your post intrigued me since I'm expecting my first baby and all these things are floating around in my head.
Like I said this is my first baby so I don't have much experience. However, when I became pregnant I decided I would do things as naturally as possible, in my search for a midwife I found a lot of midwives that specialize in VBAC births. They take care of you prenatally and during your vaginal birth all with the mindset of keeping you and the baby as safe and comfortable as possible. If you give birth at a hospital they can accompany you there and be with you through labor and delivery. And should the need for a C-section arise, they can be your allies with the hospital staff so that you can have the most fulfilling experience possible. Here's a good link http://www.sandiegomidwife.com/
Sorry, I know this sounds like an advertisement, but I've had such a good experience with a midwife that I want everyone to have a good experience too. I hope everything works out and your prayers are answered!
One of our good friends here in Missouri had 2 c-sections followed by 4 vaginal births... all 4 without any complications. So, it very well CAN be done to have a vaginal birth after c-sections, but a lot depends on what your doctor is willing to let you do. I GUARANTEE that with the sophistication hospitals have nowadays, if you try vaginal and things just don't seem to be working right, they will make sure you and your baby are healthy and fine.
My first pregnancy didn't go quite as i had hoped, but the doctors and nurses kept saying "the main thing is that the mom and baby are healthy"... and you know, i totally agree. BUT, it's your pregnancy, and you need to advocate for what YOU WANT... even if you don't get it, that way you can say at least you tried.
Katie,
You can find doctors that will do a VBAC. I would suggest that as they will also do what is in the best interest of the baby. After 5vaginal births I was devastated to learn my son was breech. The exact feelings you have about the closeness are my reasons. I still pray each day that he will turn and yet his safety is paramount to my husband and I. So we will give up the vaginal birth because of the position of cord and placenta and the fact that he is frank breech! Get a good referral to a good dr who does VBAC and then leave the rest in the Lords hands. I wanted to go to a midwife birth center this time and could not get a good feeling about it. Now I know why and am greatful for the incredible care I have gotten where I am. Good luck to you in this decision. Rachael Klinker
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